The Horror of My Heritage
This is who she REALLY was!
"Grandiose" Blue Ridge was
My Malignant Mother
I have prayed for peace and understanding, and I think I'm finally getting there.
What a colossal confusion it is to be raised by such a twisted individual! Now that she has been out of my life for several years, I am finally getting to a place of peace, of understanding, and of acceptance. I have been so hurt and so angry for so long, but now I'm sad; just plain sad. In my quest for the illusive "why," I have stumbled upon a new insight that I never expected. Jehovah truly dan heal even the deepest of wounds!
The truth is that my mother was gay. There, I said it:
SHE WAS GAY!!!!!!!
...and no one cares except for her and her wife - you guessed it.
The irony is that I come from one of the most liberal families one could ever imagine. Her secret, which was no secret at all, would have been celebrated. Even I, being one of Jehovah's Witnesses, would not have judged her (that's His job). I loved my mother when I didn't know, I loved her when I suspected, and I love her now that it is undeniable. She was my mother - terrible as she was - she was still my mother.
Clues From The Past
I Think That She WANTED Me To Know
Before she declined to the point that "Monster" Blue could take complete control, my mother began sneaking things to me. One of the things that she gave me was a box of old photographs and newspaper articles. I stuffed it into storage where it sat for many years. I thought, many times, to simply throw it away. I'm so glad that I didn't because in that box was the answer to the one question that I had asked myself all these years:
WHY WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, MOM?
The answer to that question had a name. Her name was Eunice.
To be continued...